I Dream of Edward
by LaStrange
Summary: Edward seems a little put off. So naturally, Bella is worried. She tries reasoning with him, but his face is blank except for the angry little wrinkle in his nose he can't seem to smooth out. PLEASE R&R! Need a guide whether to bring out my major story.


I do not own any of the characters. Big thanks to Stephenie Meyer who came up with the story in the first place.

Just like Stephenie, I had a dream about Edward. Only I was Bella. But I could not very well write this story with my name in it, otherwise nobody would read it. A fanfiction is based around something that has already been created. And when I write, I like to keep in touch with the characters, which is what I find to make the best fanfiction. Because it's like watching the extras on a DVD- it could have happened in the story but it was cut out.

Anyway, I wanted to write my dream with Bella in it because she is easy to identify with and you can all imagine yourself in her role while reading this (or Edward's if you prefer).

Hope you enjoy. (**NB:** This seems as if it were set at the beginning of New Moon when Bella notices a shift in her relationship with Edward)

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There was something strange; something wrong. Edward just didn't seem himself today. He had a tight lip and his eyes were hard. There was even a dent in between his eyes, as if he were concentrating. But I knew he wasn't concentrating. He was silent with anger. I tried to think back to the day before. What had I done?

We had gone to the meadow and lay down in the sun. We didn't even have Jacob sneak into our conversations that day. It couldn't have anything to do with Jacob; unless I had said something to trigger a thought back to the werewolves. But how could I have? We mostly soaked up the sun. Well, I tried to. The sun was warm and I hadn't felt the warmth of the sun in a long time. It reminded me of my mum and my old house. But now, the cold was just as comforting. It meant Edward was around me; from his cold arms to his cool breath. He makes me shiver, but I'm pretty sure that was not just from him running on a lower temperature than me. My heart started pounding just thinking about him. And then it skipped a beat as I came out of my reverie and into the present, realising that his arms were nowhere near me now, his jaw still set in a hard line.

I looked to Alice. I could have sworn out of the corner of my eye that Edward had moved his head just a little. I looked back just to make sure, but his body was still rigid and taught. He was not moving a muscle.

I looked over at Alice for an explanation again. My worried expression was all it took for her to understand. She was always so intuitive. But then again, she _was_ a vampire. She just shrugged, but something was off. She knew something that I didn't and that frustrated me. I couldn't whisper to her for advice because everyone in the house could hear me. I was not privileged with those heightened senses just yet. And there was no way to get her on her own without everyone being curious and eaves dropping just because they had nothing better to do – namely Emmett.

Edward still had not moved. I was getting really anxious now. I needed to know. I was normally patient and let things go, but this time it was different and I couldn't place my finger on it. 'What? Edward what? Did I do something?'

I caught a glimpse of something in his eye. Disgust? Was it my intuition or imagination that thought for a split second that he seemed to feel contempt for himself. But being the person that I am, I knew that that was too selfish a thought. How could he feel contempt or disgust for himself? He was absolutely perfect and I was not. I was only human. It must just be my slow self that had brought on these feelings for him. I didn't want to loose him, I needed him. But did he need me?

Edward did not answer my question. I let out a sharp exhale of exasperated breath. How was I supposed to fix what I had done if he wouldn't clue me in. 'I'm sorry okay. I have no idea what I must have done but I feel horrible. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.' I could feel my dumb eyes prickling up. His nose wrinkled up, screwing up his face in even more anger. I gently placed my hand on his cheek, trying to force some sort of eye contact between us. But his eyes were downcast and screwed up and his still wouldn't lift them up to look at me.

I hated it when he did this; when he stopped reacting. He just became a rock and didn't respond to anything I did. It made me feel like I was not wanted here. Like I wasn't beautiful or fast enough to be around him.

I looked over at Alice sitting in the next sofa. She just shook her head. What was that supposed too mean? No? No what? What shouldn't I be doing this time?

I needed somebody to speak. I was going crazy over here. I didn't care if _Edward_ didn't respond, he seemed to be content enough to pretend not to be here anyway.

'Okay, Alice. What do you know? What are you not telling me?'

'You think I'm hiding things from you, Bella? How can I? You know perfectly well that I can't read _his _thoughts.'

She was right. How could she possibly know? But then again, she may have seen this fight coming ad perhaps Edward would explain what this was all about once I had left. In which case, she should have some idea of what the problem was right this very minute. I voiced this out to her.

'Nice try, Bella. But I honestly don't know. He's pretty good at confusing my predictions when he wants to.' We continued to talk like this; as if he weren't there.

I stood with my back to Edward in his chair and nervously picked at my fingernails as I stood by the arm of Alice's floral patterned cream sofa asking her questions and advise. She was mostly vague and wasn't helping the situation at all. I could feel the tension building up. My voice was sounding less sane by the minute.

I couldn't take it! I had to yell at Alice to release my frustrations. 'I just don't know what I did! Alice it's not fair! Why can't he just talk to me? What the fuck did I do!' I half screamed the last sentence. And then there was quiet. It was silent because they both knew perfectly well that I'd never lost my temper by swearing like that. I was normally civil in my anger. At least, I was on the outside. Everyone was still in shock.

Suddenly, I felt a cold hand grab mine. Alice flew out of the room the second it happened. Edward twisted me around so fast, my head spun and everything was a blur. I could not see his other hand, his left, weave their way through my hair as he pulled my face toward his. His lips came crashing onto mine, and in an instant he un-parted them and kissed my lower lip. My instincts were starting to take control over my body before I could control them. I climbed onto his lap and half straddled him in my attempts to sling to him as much as I could.

I kissed him back and he kissed me harder. If he was hurting me, I couldn't tell, I was too numb, all except my heart. It was almost like an out of body experience. I could feel him all around me, but it felt too good to be true. I may even be dreaming but did that really matter? I felt him kiss the side of my mouth, and then my neck. I shivered closer to him, almost fainting. I forgot how much I liked him kissing my throat. His right hand was now on my lower back, pushing me closer to him. I slid my hand up his arm just to feel him in case I woke up and he was still mad at me. This thought saddened me. Edward must have felt the shift in my mood somehow because he slowed down his actions and kissed me lightly on the lips before looking me hard in the eye. This time he seemed aware, serious even, but not mad.

'I'm sorry', he said, and I had no doubt in my mind that he was being sincere. But why? What had _he_ done wrong?

He answered my unaired thought. 'It's all my fault. You didn't do anything. I have been having a really hard time lately being around you.' My heart sank. 'I'm so contrived beyond anger with myself for feeling like this. I've not been as self controlled or as precautious as I should have been and I hate myself for it! You see, I've been trying to test my boundaries with you, by hunting at longer intervals. But it has been such a mistake. I thought I could ease into being around your blood better if I hunted less and less. It's only now,' and he indicated with an eyebrow and a nod of the head, the sofa we had just occupied, 'that I realise how much I need you... Alive,' he finished lamely.

'Wait.' My voice sounded strange as I had not talked to Edward in a while. Just hearing our two voices conversing made me happy, no matter what the conversation. 'You say just now,' and I indicated the sofa just as he did. He nodded. 'Then if you only just realised this, why did you pull me towards you in the first place?'

If Edward could have blushed, he would have been red as a tomato. His expressed was of chagrin and he pursed his lips. 'Well...' He took his time to answer. He must be going through the whole dictionary jus trying to find the right words. 'Darling, I don't want to offend you, I'm just making the best out of a bad situation... but you are very attractive when you're angry and yelling... and swearing,' he added.

He face went red with mortification. So the only way to get his attention now was to be haughty. Well I wouldn't have to try. I felt embarrassed that he felt for me that way mostly when I was in a huff. I crossed my arms and averted my eyes.

'Yep, just like that. Oh come on, love. It's a guy thing!'

Just then, Emmett walked in, avidly showing that he had heard every word, intently. And on purpose. He had a massive grin on his face that wouldn't go away. Did Edward expect our relationship to be more like Emmett's and Rosealie's?

Now that I've thought about it, it's not such a bad thing. I wanted certain things before I became a vampire, certain human experiences. And now I knew how to get them. All I had to do was take a leaf out of Rosealie's book. I looked over seductively at Edward, trying to pretend (mostly for myself) that nobody else could hear us. Edward... let's say we take this upstairs...

He looked tempted, even with Emmett laughing raucously in the doorway. He ignored him and went on. 'No Bella.' His voice was rigid, just as it always was whenever we got onto this topic. 'You know why its not possible.' Emmett laughed even harder, watching us flailing. 'Emmett will explain why.' At that, Emmett zoomed out of the room and his laughter was not to be heard for a good half hour. 'I'm sorry, love. It's not that I don't want... I mean your very... I'm just scared... you know... that something will happen... that I will happen... and then I'm at square one again- a life without you.'

Now I understood. Edward's eyes were downcast again, just the thought of something happening to prevent us being together made his depressed. I lifted his chin up with my warm hand, willing him to look me in the eye. No words needed to be said, I understood now. And I agreed, as much as I still wished for things to be different, I knew that this was better. I leant in and kissed him softly and gently. We held each other like this for a few precious moments.

And then Edward picked me up again and we were occupying the sofa again.


End file.
